Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Voices and Noises in (Un) real Mafotherlands




“Literature is dead. Time and space died yesterday. You eat dead food, you fuck dead men, even your words die in your mouth. Your sentences are rolled into the ebbing waters of modernism and then wash back like a bulimic’s forced vomiting.”
Stewart Home, Blood Rites of the Bourgeoisie (2010)


Reforgotten turntablist poetics in Stewart Home’s in Memphis Underground (2007) is a postfuturist excavation of the socioscape and the inner tissue alike. Remapping the vocabularies of mafotherlands,[1]  the book presents the topoi that have geographical correlatives, but also a metaphorical meaning in their own right. Along with relativizing the notion of physicality, such a narrative technique captures commoditization of space and colonization of life by the global military-entertainment complex: “In its thirst for labor that would make land actually productive, and yield a surplus, no indignity is too great, no corner of the world exempt from the claims of property and the uprooting of its custodians.”[2]
The cultural plane is filtered through literary lenses. An experimentation in genre is what adds up to this book’s layered structure and stylistic playfulness. Metafictional and metacritical reflections intersect with loose diary-style passages and fictionalized autobiographical accounts of somebody else’s life. Such remix acquires phantasmagoric dimensions:
What I’ve just written […] is in many ways more like a diary than autobiography. I’ve tried to exclude reflections about how random incidents on the road contribute to a general lack of pattern in my life. I’ve simply taken a slice of (un)reality, and what I’ve left out is just as important as what’s been put in […] Autobiography as science fiction. Journalism has always played a role in shaping my fiction. For many years I’ve modeled my prose on pulp styles that were in turn influenced by the popular press. Although I want a critical relationship to all modes of writing, this does not necessarily prevent me from being amusing. (307-8).

Home’s remix features broken linearity, discontinuous storyline, syncopated chronology, fragmented characterization, and the tone oscillating from affective blankness, via bizarre sparseness and darkly paralyzing detachment, to paralyzingly deadpan humor. The antisentimentalist tactic in question is rooted in provocative, destabilizing maneuvering. It is a lateral path in the exploration of the uninvestigated frontiers of living under the circumstances not entirely of one’s choosing. As a critique of life threatened by reckless commoditization, Home’s work can be read in the light of Antonio Negri’s reflections in The Labor of Job (2009):
The crisis of value and of labor leaves us with a decisive choice between alternatives. Either the continuity of a mortal ailment that expands in the inertia of the world, in the confusion of every choice, in the irrational determination of Power; or the creative discontinuity and its system – the system of the alternative, the river that courses and the banks that it gradually constructs around itself – a system of power. We propose to follow the second course. It is the one that, against the backdrop of the tragedy that invests us, illuminates the human power of creativity. This creativity, this hope and risk of reason, I call Job. (15)
Creation is a mighty sword that silently confronts violation of freedom. The fusion of a creative quest and practice is a redemptive means of “talking back” to the power of constructed realties whose valences are strikingly incompatible with the chemistry of playfulness. The subversive language in Home’s book is the shadow undercurrent disrupting and reconfiguring delusional belief in the totality of a discursive confinement. Antonio Negri:” The idea of liberation is an idea of creation” The Labor of Job (2). On the innovation-repetition scale of the legacy of the last century, Home is reworking the static-kinetic dialectic through postfuturist literary remixing. Although  Memphis Underground is a narrative labyrinth, mapping the path from the old school soul, blues, and funk tracks to today’s eclectic, polyphonic scenes, that absorbingly mutable journey through historical audio occurrences is, at the same time, a silent revisit to the past—to the thematic that emerged at the beginning of the twentieth century, has been hemorrhaging, and marked the predicament thereafter:
Claire thought I was pulling some kind of Samuel Beckett routine, that I was sick of film-making and was going to switch to fiction. She imagined I’d spend my days composing lures of the following type: ”I have nothing to say but I’ve yet to run through the effluvium with which I might describe my taste for dissipation. My contribution to avant-garde fiction is to announce its exhaustion, which is merely another way of proclaiming it must live out its own death, since there is exhaustion and exhaustion—as well as lethargy, languor and lassitude[“]. (Memphis Underground 210)
Certain responses to a particular kind of exhaustion have transformative powers. In many instances, it is the unuttered that is the source of such potentials. The tone, for example, frequently directs the course of the quiet action of the silent uprising against the tyranny of the ossified and/or imposed ways of speaking and living. The tone is inextricably connected with characterization. The tone is inextricably connected with characterization. The character of London in this book is deindividualized, like its denizens and like the other characters who aimlessly wander from one entrepreneurial attempt to another. Hoping to recuperate life and regain human dignity, London is waiting for its refacement. Between the swinging Sixties, punk-rocking Seventies/Eighties, raving Eighties/Nineties, and the Millennial confusion, London is walking in solitude, brooding over its own abandoned streets: “I’d never known London to be as boring as it had become at the beginning of the twenty-first century, even the early eighties had been better” (292).
However, this should not be understood as a nostalgic cry, but rather vision of the present as a reimagined history, resurrected to redeem the future DJing decades. It is a NO to the culture of denial and a YES to remixing it, along with its own identity of a ghostless apparition in a ghost townlessness:
The Shoreditch and Hoxton I’d once loved had receded into the mists of history. Money trampled everything before it, and in the case of this and other recently gentrified neighbourhoods, what got destroyed were the very things that had attracted these fatal attentions in the first place. I was the last of London, and now London was the end of me. (153)
            The prevalent global affective trend demands subordination of uniqueness to uniformity, which is not to be confused with unity; on the contrary, it is atomizing and alienating. Commoditized arts and forceful real estate industry,  are among the causes that have conquered the communication channel and degraded humans: “Money destroyed truly human relationships” (134). All this noise made London seem like a place where home cannot be found, a replica of Baudrillard’s “nonexisting” America: “That first doubling/coupling consisted of an unreal city of finance generated from and mediated by an unreal city of cool” (129).
Is, thus, London an alienated creature? Is this book a story of alienation? Alienation from what? As a postfuturist response to the perplexities of postmodern ramifications, it clearly speaks about a “nonexistent” feeling of being isolated from something that “does not exist,” as Terry Eagleton remarks reflecting on postmodernist culture in Against the Grain: Essays 1975-1985 (1986): “[T]here is no longer any subject to be alienated and nothing to be alienated from, ‘authenticity’ having been less rejected than merely forgotten” (132).
Amputee Authenticity
            Amnesiac noise pollution. Phantom alienation is coupled with the critique of property/ownership/authorship indicating the prevalence of materialist culture emptying resistance of the potential for containing, rather than escaping the problem of power (McKenzie Wark, 50 Years of Recuperation of the Situationist International, 2008). In the world that knows no alienation, one, presumably feels inadequately displaced. For that reason the characters are mutable and unidentifiable. Their identity cannot be contained within one. The sense of being a misfit appears to be inappropriate--because, allegedly, there is nothing to fit. Because of the mind-boggling meaninglessness, their grand life projects are, in fact, aimed at self-destruction. Hence, towards the ending of the book they partake a psychedelic episode taking place in the phantasmagorical Minnesota, Finland. Amazingly, they engage in a somnambulist conversation with the Reaper. But then, one wonders, how the dead can encounter death? Is the fact that they are, actually, the living dead a sufficient explanation?
Does John Johnson have these thoughts as Tony Cheam’s failed impersonator, looming through the state of mind called Minnesota, Finland? What thoughts occupy Tony Cheam’s mind? Can he have any, given that somebody else is living his life? If proper names are the ultimate instances of constructed identities, what contains the power of real life? Facing confusion in every attempt to understand both the external and inner spatiality, the character meditates as follows: ”I was finding it increasingly difficult to differentiate London and Basel, Zurich and Hamburg, Mainz and Berlin. Real life was elsewhere. Real life was everywhere” (Memphis Underground 300).
John Johnson, Tony Cheam, Scotland, U.K., America, Orkney…Does John Johnson have these thoughts as Tony Cheam’s failed impersonator, looming through the state of mind called Minnesota, Finland? What thoughts occupy Tony Cheam’s mind? “America is a state of mind, not a geographical location” (30). What occupies Tony Cheam’s mind. Has Tony Cheam withdrawn from life if he cannot rise to the occasion and keep the  position of artist-in-residence in Scapa Loch, on the  island of Hoy in Orkney, off the Scottish northern shore? Does Tony Cheam exist if he can no longer participate in his own life, if somebody else is living his life:
“Who am I?” I repeated. “Surely such a question lost any meaning it may have possessed once modernism went into decline. Who am I? Tell me that and you’ve solved the riddle of the sphinx. I am that I am. I am a man. And as for me, I’ve no interest in issues and debates that revolve around completely arbitrary notions of identity. As a proletarian postmodernist I am engaged in continuous becoming, and I’ve no time for nonsense about centred subjects.” (140)
He is a talented artist, suffering from a stalled career syndrome (149). Thus, he suggests that John Johnson take over his career in the Scottish settlement, a demilitarized American suburb. Scapa Loch was originally built for the personnel of the U.S. Naval Intelligence, and now is under the control of the developer Retro Americana (Suburban) Homes, offering to wanna-be proprietors dreams come true at a reasonable price. John Johnson, a DJ-turned-music industry entrepreneur, finds himself broke and homeless after unsuccessful dot.com merchandizing, government welfare cuts, and his “council housing […] deliberately run down” (130). For obvious reasons, he accepts the fake life of Hoy’s artist-in-residence.
The reader follows his re(pro)gression through a series of events thematically unified as cultural hooliganism, initiated by the Comparative Vandalism show. The character’s cultural engagement parallels an increasingly destructive lifestyle and gradual disappearance in the labyrinth of liquid identities, fake personalities, and the reality of heroin, cocaine, and LSD.  This artistic extravaganza is a critique of arts and a sketch of a practice in response to such a state of affairs. It is a refiguring of modernist and the avant-garde legacy on the one hand, and, on the other, postmodernist authoritarian pluralism, excluding from the debate questions like: How is it possible to feel the impossibilized alienation?
The Present of the Future
The episode featuring the Work, Talk, Rest, Play conference particularly invites reimagining of the twentieth century heritage. Home’s critique of  institutionalized production of knowledge, reveals dissolving spirit of solidarity that sabotages creative criticism in “that multifarious enigma known as contemporary society” (77).  Postfuturist approaches to the dilemma of this kind can be related to Terry Eagleton’s thoughts about the avant-garde-modernist-postmodernist trajectory:
From modernism proper, postmodernism inherits the fragmentary or schizoid self, but eradicates all critical distance from it […] From the avant-garde, postmodernism takes the dissolution of art into social life, rejection of tradition, an opposition to ‘high’ culture as such, but crosses this with the unpolitical impulses of modernism […] An authentically political art in our own time might similarly draw upon both modernism and the avant-garde, but in a different combination from postmodernism. Against the Grain: Essays 1975-1985  (146-7)
Crossing the politicized avant-garde remix of tradition with modernist fragmented self approached from a critical distance, one is creating a noise filter--refacement. McKenzie Wark: “Recuperation must be all or nothing” (50 Years of Recuperation of the Situationist International 10). Enduring shadow talk puncture discourse where nominalism puts naming on hold. It cuts across the circle of discursive self-referentiality—on its (discourse’s, i.e.) terms: “That’s why I had decided to give up writing, and it is also what made the resolution essentially meaningless. The point was that there was no point, that giving up was essentially the same as carrying on” (Memphis Underground 210-11). Because the fabric of literature is duplicity, all postufutrist reader-writers can do is never stop naming. McKenzie Wark: “In this tiresome age, when even the air melts into airwaves, when all that is profane is packaged as if it were profundity, the possibility yet emerges to hack into mere appearances and make off with them. There are other worlds and they are this one” (A Hacker Manifesto [389]).
An endlessly recurring loop is an echo of the bewildering noise. The dissonance bombarding one’s capacities for clear imaginative reasoning hits the message at salient spots, thereby violating the flow through the communication channel. The noise in this book comes in shapes and forms ranging from the disappearance of individuality, denial of articulate subjectivity, cityscape face-lifting, real estate refashioning the bucolic periphery, destructiveness of commoditized art, individuals reduced to discursive self-referentiality, dispossession, annihilation/fabrication of history, dispassionate relationships (or the absence thereof), isolation, fragmented potential for critical creativity, muted vitality of the cradle of radical sound, and a blocked vision of the future. Thus, towards the closing scene in Memphis Underground, after the tectonic trembling of the soil of Minnesota, Finland, under the veil of the grotesque conversation with the Reaper, the character, having met his  exploding, (--)dead (--)conscious, is encountering yet another metacritical loop of disappearance that is not one:
I’m seeking radical incompletion. I want to combine critique, poetics and popular story telling. I want to combine poetics, critique and popular story telling. I want to combine poetics, popular story telling and critique. I want to combine critique, popular story telling and poetics. I want to combine popular story telling, critique and poetics. I want to combine popular story telling, poetics and critique. I am Death. I am Undead. I stopped living. Ad nauseam. (Memphis Underground 309)
 In the cacophonic whirlwind one is condemned  to living between death and the undead. A life of the living dead. Temporarily so. Periods of noise alternate with those of green communication. But for the shift to happen, remixing is needed in order to reanimate  hibernated words. For that reason, I read Memphis Underground as a call for reclaiming genuine passion and for an increase in the unification of fragmented, defaced entities into a cultural force, renaming them human beings, whose face would radiate life reemerged from the living dead. As a postfuturist reading, it is a remix of the past, looking at the present to redeem the future. The DJing in this vein relies on Eagleton’s vision of the excavations in the intersections of the time axes:
All historical epochs are modern to themselves, but not all live their experience in this ideological mode. If modernism lives its history as peculiarly, insistently present, it also experiences a sense that this present moment is also of the future, to which the present is nothing more than an orientation; so that the idea of the Now, as the present, as full presence eclipsing the past, is itself intermittently eclipsed by an awareness of the present as deferment, as an empty excited openness to a future which is in one sense already here, in another sense yet to come. (Against the Grain: Essays 1975-1985  139)
The contestable character of the period is evident from the different approaches to its spirit. It can be understood as (a) an escalation of the eroding totality that started at the beginning of the twentieth century, to which the modernists responded with an implosion of fractured and fragmented narrative; (b) as a substantially different sentiment from what the modernists  perhaps foresaw as a possible reality, or did not; or (c) as a combination of the unpolitical modernist art, uncritically understood modernist fragmented consciousness and the avant-garde  rejection of tradition. Regardless of the particular specification of the boundaries, it seems that these versatile approaches share an understanding of postmodernist cultural diversity. However, unlike the common perception of culture as democratic, Jameson points to its oppressive tendencies:”[E]ssential to grasp postmodernism not as a style but rather as a cultural dominant: a conception which allows for the presence and coexistence of a range of very different, yet subordinate features” (Postmodernism, or, the Cultural Logic of Late Capitalism 4). This attests a paradoxical homogenization resulting from the alleged plurality of voices. It is also to suggest that, despite the reported plurality of vocabularies, in a genuinely pluralist culture. The dominant vocabulary determining the sounds of culture is that of multinational capitalism: depthless, contaminating noise.
Phantom Face

In this grim theoretical portrayal of the present, one of the most striking tropes Jameson deploys is that of waning of affect, pertinent to the culture of late capitalism, which he rightly relates to the disappearance of vital cultural ingredients: “But it means the end of much more--the end, for example, of style, in the sense of the unique and the personal, the end of the distinctive brush stroke” (Postmodernism, or, the Cultural Logic of Late Capitalism 15). Analyzing architecture, Jameson claims that the human subject has not kept pace with the mutations of the object, in which a new space – hyperspace - has been created, and for which one simply does not have appropriate perceptual habits. In other words, there has not been a mutation on behalf of the subject equivalent and accompanying that of the object.
The subject’s apparent lagging behind the advancement of the object can be understood as a consequence of the atrophying constituents, affect and style/signature being among them.  In a word, incongruence between the object and the subject in contemporary world is commonly understood as a result of the subject’s inability to follow the changes happening on the level of the object. However, it turns out that the subject is not all that disabled. And that what adds up to its idiosyncratic character (style/signature, for example) seems to be alive and well. More precisely, unlike in hyperspace, for an entity of a different shape, such as the style/signature, the subject does have a corresponding perceptual apparatus: a response is not missing. Thus, the death of the style/signature seems to be a make-believe reality that resulted from the fear of the loss of authenticity. Or, the fear of authenticity not being lost. If the former is the case, one mistakenly believed that what one feared would happen, actually, did happen. If the latter, one was misled to believe that something disastrous would happen, should have such a nightmare come true.  
Consequently, one lived a delusion of a deprivation of uniqueness, whereas death of the style, actually, never occurred. Even prototypically inauthentic postmodernist works speak in an unmistakably unique voice. Even those who dismiss the myth of originality, like Stewart Home, create an idiosyncratic vernacular. Even Derrida’s decisive deferral of authenticity is quite unlikely to be mistaken for somebody else’s voice. Fredric Jameson:”[P]ostmodernism, despite its systematic and thoroughgoing rejection of all the features it could identify with high modernism and modernism proper, seems utterly unable to divest itself of this final requirement of originality” (Singular Modernity: Essay on the Ontology of the Present 152). One would be prone to say that whoever cares about authenticity and the related issues and expresses one’s concerns about them--regardless of the perspective--unavoidably does so in a unique way, thereby creating an idiosyncratic idiom.
            Therefore, death of the style/signature is, essentially, what makes postmodernist a culture of and/or discourse of denial. The proclamation of the alleged death comprises of a crass understatement, or, an overstatement about the life of the subject. Postmodernists are right to inherit a broken image of reality from modernists. However, such a picture should remain communicable or else the polyphony is merely a simultaneity of individual, disjoined cacophonic noise, disinterested in and immune to redemption. If this were the case, the adjective individual should not be mistakenly understood to be the stem for the derivation of the noun individuality, but rather of individualism. Further, postmodernists are right to claim that there are as many descriptions as there are idiosyncratic idioms, but this truth does not entail a presumption that all of them are tenable. Finally, postmodernists are right to believe in inauthenticity not because its opposite is untrue, but because a replica is an impossibility.
Along with the death of the subject, author, self, style, uniqueness, totality, postmodernism claims the death of history. In The Cultural Turn: Selected Writings on the Postmodern 1983-1998 (1998), Jameson challenges it: “But the notion of the ‘end of history’ also expresses a blockage of the historical imagination” (91). Similarly, other blockages preclude other kinds of imagination. For example, the imposition of multiple deaths overshadows the theoretical imagination--the right to remix and see the signature/style and solidarity as compatible. Impositions of that kind attempt to persuade one that something dreadful will happen to cultural polyphony if one lives one’s uniqueness. That kind of blockage of the cultural imagination presumes that authenticity is inherent to the dominant self/monolith subject. It is a blockage of the social imagination that would want one to equate individuality with individualism and, by extension, refacement with the politics of exclusion. It would prefer one to be content with an existence of a particle in the amalgamation of defaced, disaffected, disinterested, nihilo-cannibalistic robozombies. It aspires to overthrow one’s belief that, actually, there is nothing wrong with the subjects’ being individuals. And alive.
Today, one is prone to see the legacy in a remixed form, along the lines of Terry Eagleton’s thought:
From modernism proper, postmodernism inherits the fragmentary or schizoid self, but eradicates all critical distance from it…From the avant-garde, postmodernism takes the dissolution of art into social life, rejection of tradition, an opposition to ‘high’ culture as such, but crosses this with the unpolitical impulses of modernism […] An authentically political art in our own time might similarly draw upon both modernism and the avant-garde, but in a different combination from postmodernism. (“Capitalism, Modernism and Postmodernism,” Against the Grain: Essays 1975-1985, 146-7) 
Building on Eagleton’s  aesthetico-political reconfiguration of the twentieth century vocabularies, the remix might be sketched along the following lines: (a) The novel, pertinent to creative practices is what one adopts from the avant-garde uncompromising uprooting; yet, one keeps the awareness of having his or her vocabulary, to different degrees, inspired by  traditional ones--only remixed; (b) Fragmentary consciousness that modernists made apparent is, unfortunately, part of the realities one inhabits today; that, however, does not mean that one is doomed to insanity; (c) Apolitical preservation of the autonomy of creation is an integral part of the ultimate dream of freedom; this  by no means prevents one from finding ways of juggling these two seemingly incompatible vocabularies (aesthetic and political, i.e.).
Subversive silent ruptures in the discursive are constituent ingredients of the remix—a response to the noise, an eco-intervention.  In the light of Eagleton’s meditation on the problem of power and readers taking over the means of production, I agree with understanding it as an act of recovering the territory by the enslaving rule of profit-making. However, critically distancing from the Readers’ Liberation Movement’s (RLM) slogan “The authors need us; we don’t need the authors,”[3] I think in the vein of Home’s idea of the reader-writer being “implicated” as crucial to the creation of meaning. Being entwined,  the reader-writer is, in fact, a DJ--the voice sometimes manifest, at times subtonicly present, a depersonalized vessel for the free flow, an embodiment of the belief that human existence implies and requires acknowledging the limits of one’s own control/power. Freed from proscribing, but not of generating meaning, the deselfed, yet reinvividualized, DJ acts concordantly to Terry Eagleton’s critique of radical constructivism: “Surely life itself must have a say in that matter” (The Meaning of Life: A Very Short Introduction  67).
In an age of uncertainty, suspicious deaths, unreliable voice, threats to the creative imagination and the potential of the textual are numerous. Since the literature of the twentieth and the twenty-first centuries has to a large extent been self-reflective, it has also been a form of denial of its potential and a delusion about its dead-end. In response to that, non-existent, inauthentic voices are heard as a call for reanimation of the tired body of literature and supposedly nonexisting readers/writers—subjects. Human, at that. Humble, too. Well, stories, to be sure, must have a say in that matter.


[1] The term merges the words fatherland and  motherland—a reference to the inspiration postfuturist writers find in the heritage, all the while remixing it.

[2] McKenzie Wark, A Hacker Manifesto [102]. Wark portrays  the historical development and perpetuation of proprietary relations (“legal fictions”[101]) and the emergences of new classes with a new form of property. He presents a progression from pastoralists who dispossess farmers and take land, via capitalists who hack land and transform it into a new, abstract form of property-capital that turns farmers into the working class, to vectoralists who hack capital into its abstract form—intellectual property that is hacked from them by the hacker class, should they become one.
[3] Terry Eagleton, “The Revolt of the Reader,” Against the Grain: Essays 1975-1985 (181).

Monday, March 26, 2012

Off Reforgotten Mind


Days: Secrecy Schisms
9/1Ø July, 2ØII
9/1Ø July, 2ØII
Once upon a time humanity found itself plagued by lexical proliferation. The critical area of confusion happened to be the schizoid split within the term privacy. On the one hand, the meaning of the word got atomized through the replication, resulting in seemingly akin, yet, in fact, resolutely distinct concepts such as intimacy, individuality, identity. On the other hand, however, the fragmentation in question lead to an overwhelming sense of universality, contained in the interaction between and amongst the particularities at stake. The universality that, for some reason, felt unbearable. Unbearable for the counterintuitive clash between resemblance and differentiation. Counterintuitive because intuition presumes coincidence, resonance, and/or  convergence between logically discordant phenomena. Logically discordant because of the counterintuitive, a priori laws of logic. Counterintuitive because of the logic of negation of innate categories. Negation because of the facticity of the constructivist character of the mind. Constructivist because of the counterintuitive nature of the perception and meaning of the likes of color red as a stimulation of neurons, communication between transmitters and the rest of the nervous system, climaxing in the signal reaching the target in the central part of it, revealing to the remaining parts of the organism that the sensory input translates into Я-AE-D.
By the time this counterintuitive replication of sensory meaning reached the level of alarming dubiosity, to say the least, the person by the name of DamendHer was already two years old. Orphan by birth, the child spent infancy and early childhood living six months in a boat on the river SiDzi, the other six in the nest on the tree overshadowing the boat. Although at such a fragile age, the child demonstrated an astonishing attunement to the theoretico-scientific flux, whose vital issue was concerned with the question of privacy. Attesting to this fact, frequently welcomed with natural resistance on behalf of those capable of medico-logical reasoning, a letter written by the abovesaid was found exactly three years after one was born and is addressed to the future adopter. The following is a copy of the original archived at the Suprastellar Omnimuseico Corporation & Co.
9/1Ø July, 2ØII
Daer Adoapteer:
Although well adapted to the circumstances under which many a man would curse the day when the absent parents threw one into this world, I am writing to, nevertheless, express immeasurable excitement caused by even a slightest thought of meeting one’s future caretaker. The delight one feels at a mere nanoimaginometer of envisioning the moment when a new chapter of one’s life as a born orphan will start, comes, believe-it-or-not, from one’s daily engaging in conjuring up a comprehendible web out of outrageous threads of meaningsz. Recent achievements in the hybrid form of thought, sampling the elements of AeristoTalyan tradition with advanced D-AE-Rwinism-meeting-greenH-AE-Dism, inspired one to create one’s own contribution to aestheticized politics of medico-morality. What follows is an exposé intended to be delivered V U as a token of gratitude for the anticipated generous act of YOURSZ.
In sum, my groundbreaking discovery lies in a shamefully simple fact: the word privacy has been interchangeably used with the word secrecy. And/or vice versa. This creates the basis for understanding and experiencing safety as hiding. In turn, one learns to appreciate individuality as an apex of identity in absentia. Consequently, it shapes one’s daily activities after the detective story paradigm. As the phenomenon advances, the basic pattern is being enriched by an addition of other transmedial elements such as thriller, horror, psychodrama, romance gris, pixilated picarescque narrative, crossed with confectional poetry with an air of steroidized kitch’N’sink symphony. On the meta-level, this results in endless replicas of the synonyms for the concept of privacy. On the object-level, implications are numberless. However, the predominant one appears to be  the increments on the life / death scale, whose contradictory extremes alternate, while  engaging in a dynamic anthitetical, yet not antagonistic dialogue, cønstituting a cøexistence invølving a mind-øffending simultaneity and its bizarrely undeniable facticity.  The first cosmic truth born out of paradox: Everything starts with the second year in one’s life.

From the point of view of someone who has experienced the condition firsthand, it can be described as the following lousy attempt will try to illustrate to a curious mind willing to digest cold leftovers of somebody else’s w-h-a-t-e-v-e-r-i-s-t-h-e-o-p-p-o-s-i-t-e-o-f-c-o-l-d lunch. Personally, one isn’t sure if one’s gastrointestinal tract would process such input, but there are digestive systems and digestive systems. Hence, for those who would compromise digestion for the sake of uncompromising research politics, the meal is just about to be served.
 The troublesome interplay between life and death in the age of lexical proliferation of meaning was experienced most vividly on the inside as a rotation of flashes of a categorically different character. On the outside, the appearances wouldn’t display the least percentage of the drama from the space enclosed by the epithelium. At least not for the lenses of a camera set by default to the XO-flash image mode. Other lenses opened for the cyclonic luminescence stimuli. The non-dramatic projection of the agonistic hurricane would appear as follows.
It’s 8 AM. I’m walking through a bright spring opening of a promising day. I see streets whose light grey pavement whispers of the juicy concrete to kiss the feet in a couple of months’ period when the sun will be closer to the earth and directing its laser jet from a different angle. But right now I am walking through the lightness of the warm spring air, anticipating the noon and, more so, the evening hours of calm, comforting solitude. What the span between now and the long awaited moment has in store for me is beyond my epistemology. What was before this moment and the previous realization of what once was anticipation is, by my standards, beyond living within the boundaries of good taste. My noons are usually joyful because that’s when I take a walk in a nearby park, not far from my office, for midday indulgence in gustation. That keeps my spirit sufficiently charged to endure the long afternoon office hours. After which I, should the weather permit, take another twenty-or-thirty odd steps towards the sanctuary of the evening. With the discreet creak of the door opening, I am losing myself to the seductive dimness of the space that I pretend I don’t know to be my own apartment. And I play estranging the familiar territory in order to enhance the solicitude necessary for the invasion of such turf. Once I allow for the dialectical turn which shifts the direction and agents in the conquest, i.e. once the active part on my behalf is complete, I allow the hollowness of the secretive darkness to suck me into its velvety spiral corridors. Downwards. All the way to the heart of the vacuum called the bliss of an evening calm experienced in solitude.
On the inside, however, the situation is radically different. My casual morning walk through the freshness of the urbane ozone forest is a feast of denial. What is being denied is a counterintuitivly non-carnal sensory experience. An instance of such a blow to rationality is my walking towards a heap of flowers that is acquiring the properties of an organism. This is being manifested in the heap’s movements increasingly resembling breathing. With each inhalation the petals covering this bizarre hill start vibrating to the particular melodies imagined by each of them, respectively. This generates cacophony of movements whose secondary effect is upPing the pace of the alternation of inhales and exhales. When the vibration reaches the level of a buzz, the final exhale leads to the transmutation of the floral mountain into a pile of unidentifiable greasy particles whose contact between and amongst each other causes a kinetic chain reaction resulting in the creation of an image of a gigantic slippery wave elated above the surface of the ocean whose fluctuation of the thick amalgam of feces and mucus  evokes the ominous smile of the universe in the interregnum before nothingness and the big bang. The titillations happen to be the harbingers of the birth of civilization from the simmering brew of uncreated, albeit existing, gases that lead to the moment of the historic rise of the slimy, dripping billow.


My enlightened lunch time is, on the inside, a jump into the bubbling cosmic hemorrhage. As I am entering the park, a dollop of thickened scrap from a laboratory specimen hits me with the intensity of the scorchingly sour smell more than what it does to me visually / VC 450 flight to Bristol has been delayed due to the severe weather conditions / I am shocked by the effect, as I do not normally experience olfactory hallucinations during the lunch break. On the inside of my forearm a cut opens. Looks like a freshly made scar…a result of playing with a penknife…quite benign / Lufthansa 230 flight to Berlin has been cancelled > passengers are kindly requested to be patient, as the information about the next flight will be provided shortly  > Can I help you? Yes, please…um…scrambled squid--poached, not shaken; shrimp coated with pickled sour kraut-flavored  mayonnaise…make it rare > The cut is mutating from a smile-shaped curve into a laughter-deformed caricature of the portrait of my great granddad hanging above my bed in the room that  I always visit in a dream I have on Sundays / All passengers from the BA 100 flight to Vienna are requested to alight their interbypass carousels, as the vehicles to the airbus will be provided as soon as the last call for RyanAir 22 is announced / Any dressing, seer? Yes, please…garlic-ginger / Through the poisonous curtain of the caries infested mouth cavity, I hear the pulse orchestrating the transformation of the bedrock of the part of my body alienated from myself. As a result, I see the thin line growing into a 12-lane gangrenous highway for chopper-carriers of electric cars as an advanced way of the preservation of energy in the post-fossil-fuel era / Anything to drink? / Smoking-free zones will be used as temporary shelters and needle-sharing centers until the airport hospital reopens having been raided by a group of passengers from the redirected CV 315 flight to Miami and its forced landing in order to avoid a possible tragic outcome due to the air traffic being momentarily inaccessible to land control / My forearm, which is not mine any more,  smells of sour kraut-flavored pickles from the time when my grandma was a wee lassie > Yes, please…diet coke. > As I am approaching the bench (my miniscule midday retreat) I get attacked by a wild look of a withdrawal-crushed shadow of a junky, who says: My flight has been being delayed for three consecutive days. I am out of my fucking mind. I am a shadow dying of sickness-induced insomnia. My heart is extinguished. My muscles dehydrated. My mind is out of sight. I am a sickness-ridden shadow. Looking for a way to trick my prospects for health and get as HI as a fucking KIte, as stoned as the raockey beach of my shitty descending. As s/he says so, I feel the eruption coming from the core of my skeleton, rockiteering upwards…towards what used to be the epithelium boundary of one’s body. I can smell a 99 year garbage can stink approaching the surface at maximum speed and strangely feel the transpositioning of the olfactory pandemonium into a visually palpable head-shaped hemorrhage, puncturing the bone, tearing the connective tissue, breaking the blood vessels, and screaming at the world around itself as if it were the first audio second in the life of an uberville >Seer, you dropped you wallet, seer…Thanks, angel. Help yourself to a fiver and get some ice-cream for being such a sweetie > As I hear myself pronounce the very last syllable of the last word of the sentence/utterance, I feel sharp objects being attached to what was previously my forearm…or so it felt…or so I identified it…or so I am able to describe it…beyond the description was just the jaws devouring the monster being born from my own tissue…and between the inhalation and the exhalation, dividing two megabites, a gust of hardly identifiable verbal content, mixing with the odor of a mayonnaise’s tropical fortnight, strikes me with a familiar voice: I am a fucking shadow and I will eat you alive if you don’t get me to the sexed up smoking-free zone as soon as fucking possible. Having heard the last word, I realize that my lunch-break is over.
“The flight has been cancelled*…*Diet coke.*…*Three consecutive days*…*Yes, seer*…**Eater of my intergalactic black holes**Needle-sharing centers*…*Wild flash from a stranger’s eye cavity*…*Your wallet, seer*…*Whipped cream*…*Yes, seer…My feet are heavy, but my steps are light. 70% of my blood is being engaged in the digestion of the uneasy lunch*break, but my mind is used to running on the minimum of whatever percentage of the fluid. Я-AE-D. The usual twenty-to thirty odd steps on my way back to the office are a space oddity in their own right. But my sense of direction works proportionately to the level of confusion. I always make a left on the first corner, past the shabby tobacconist, but now I walk two more blocks and slip into the side alley after I buy a gallon of expensive, super-filtered, ultrapure still water bottled in the ancient Japanese sanctuary by monks of the xClencio order, known in religious circles worldwide for its Spartan moral code, Athenian ecclesiastic practices, and Roman understanding of urban planning (although the latter is indisputably beyond the scope of the order’s activities) *I am a ghost of a shadow*…*VC 34 flight to wherever*…*Three consecutive days*…*Yes, seer**Eater of my intergalactic black holes**Your wallet, seer. I see the building where I work. I pass the security desk without having my ID checked. Because they know my name****Historian specializing in mummies****I take the elevator to the eleventh floor to my office. Number V. I walk past the coworkers, who came from their lunch break, not unlike myself. I wonder what kind of olfactory cacophony they experienced while they were having lunch. What did they have? A piece of pizza? Baked sweet potatoes? Garden salad? Or ssuop? I prefer to think they had tuna salad instead. They might have had it, as well*…*I need you to get me to the temporary shelter/former smokinfree zone as soon as fuckin possible*…*Shadow of the looted hospital*…*Now boarding*…*Yes, seer**Sup of my coup…Incestonaut**I sit at my desk. I have a computer on it. My computer is incessantly connected to the internet. I am also part of the intranet. And the Ethernet. I do 80% of my work on the computer. Online. My colleagues do approximately the same. I create maps. I am a map-designer. I use advanced technologies for the creation of maps. I create maps presenting the interconnectivity between and amongst people who are interested in the technologies of the preservation of the ancient Japanese water-bottling ceremonies*…*I am in love with my own mind*…*Now boarding*…*I don’t do prescription stuff*…*I am in love with a lamp-shaped face*…*I am a lamp dying to score*…*Your flight, seer**Eater of my interneurotransmitter vacancies**I draw maps of family trees of the trustees of the xClencio lamps & Co. In my work I use sophisticated computerized protocols for the selection of the individuals to be included in the maps. They are being chosen based on the degree, level, and/or percentage of the proliferation of lexical meaning in their lives. And depending on the synonym they use for the word privacy. I sometimes have to visually indicate how such persons are positioned within the web. At times, however, their presence and interconnectivity are suggested by the use of other means. Once I wrote a poem that stood for the person who donated four old timer airplanes from his/her private collection to the Japanese sanctuary on the Mountain of Lamp Worshippers&There Disciples:
Con-commitant, ye beloved.
GoodNerd, cava!
I am in love with my own mind—
I am dying to get me a lamp.
I am a lamp worshipper.
Eater of my rash-ravaged skin.
My dream kitch’n’person / Ye soul of my lamp.
As I recall the poetic intervention created upon request of the trustee, I hear the sound from the nearby belfry. And I know it is 6 PM. And time to go home.
There is Unholy Trinity Sq. past the intersection of Floral Hill St. and Half-Way-Between-Saturn&Moon’s Major Southern Crater St. that I always pass at around 7 PM on my way back from work. Funny site—an urban planning perk par excellence. On its side facing the east there is an arcade. Always in the shade. Not only does it leave the passer-by irredeemably perplexed by the architectural site’s defying basic astronomical facts and realities, but it is also an aesthetic well-spring of a kind. Its semi-darkness creates sharp contrast with the rest of the square in the background, intensifying the visual effect based on the conversation between different wavelengths that at different speed stimulate one’s eye. The reason why Я mention this is because every time I cut across that place, it never fails to catch my whole sensory-perceptual apparatus. Soon after my voluntary subjugation to such a bodily-architectural thrill, I turn into Floral Hill St. for carbohydrate supplies—highlight of my night, crown of my day. I change neither the riddim nor the pace of my walk from work. Rain or shine, my walk is the same.
Thus Я, without an exception, arrive to the place that I pretend I don’t know to be my own apartment at around 8 PM. The contact between the key and the lock is a recurring daily promise that finds its realization in the series of wonts of mine. I open the door and before my hand reaches the switch, I take a quick emotional shower of an anxiously pleasurable anticipation. My apartment, before I completely enter it, welcomes me with a look of seaweed entangled around one’s ankle. When I turn on the lights, it is a kiss of wet grass on a scalding, humid day in July, before early birds-joggers steal scarce oxygen and leave the unfortunate shortage of the gaseous mixture to welcome bohemian heavy sleepers/late birds. When I am inside in all my entirety, I hear cutlery being laid, as the table is being set for breakfast. Then I recognize the smell of white coffee that chronologically contextualizes the sound nearly forty years ago in the mornings when the sun meant sweet fruit, and rain freedom from everything, but not for anything.
Two easy steps to the right and voila you see me in the barbarously regal shrine of my multiple-sensory/kaleidoscopically spiritual ceremony. First, before I even wash my hands—let alone have a shower proper—Я look at the mirror. Just to reset my senses from the previous attunement to old-timer airplanes, to recast my cartographer mind of a slightly different type, due to the altered set up, to defragment my brain and gather the scattered mental particles excruciatingly remote from each other in the vastness of the skull, having survived the flight–cancellation--meets—the-haunting-look-of-the-junky’s-shadow-refugee-from-the-purgatory--assault. Immediately following that ritualistic resurrection is the second when one of my feet presses with its toes the heel of the other feet, thereby half taking off the shoe. In accord with the spirit that nourishes my private (derivatives of the word privacy do count and are part of the culture of proliferation of lexical meaning, but because this is an intimate moment, the discussion about a special treatment of such linguistic complexity-inducing factors is beyond the scope of the vocabulary currently available) oasis in the desert called time, the other feet collaborates and, as soon as one pronounces, “Яedirect all your cookies my way, and then, hold your biscuits, Tas/hkon!” the other responds  by throwing the shoe high in the air, sometimes hitting the ceiling, sometimes not. I turn on my stereo to have life-restoring vibrations accompany me on my way to the bathroom, where I take the first steps towards regaining human dignity by sustaining smooth skin on one’s elbows. I let the water fall over the scar on the inside of my forearm. And then, after I return to the living room to sag into the luxurious silent hug of the sofa, the human-presence-sensitive lamp is activated and a luminescent jet projected from its face-s/haped s/hade finds its focus on the page of the book I hold in my hands with the tenderness of a parent touching a cheek of ye person-child beloved. The title is On How to Phunkie WriteRead (ØØØØ).
Neveя have i imagined my life to turn into an inexplicable commitment to switching from a sitting to a lying position; neveя thought that turning from one’s back to one’s belly would become the foundation of one’s wellbeing; neveя would have believed if somebody had said that the excuse for one’s being alive would have been gluttonous indulgence in externally stimulated fabrication of one’s jealousy. Hence, one spends nights in the shadow of long days, losing oneself to the proliferation of fantasy like there is no tomorrow. Hard times demand hard fancy. How one is to cope with such realities is a matter of personal choices. Nearly each individual would have one’s own reason for choosing this or that word to attach it to the experience selected in solitude, secretly. Neither solid nor fluid are such decisions. Neither impassioned nor aloof. Neither heedful nor indifferent. Just words, random choices picked from the sea of lexical abundance, emptied of innateness, stripped of fixity, freed from inevitability. Mine can be found in the answer to the riddle of the signifier for the antonym of the expression****three dirty overcoats****Whoever thinks of solving it…well, that’s a very bad sign.
Those are my thoughts, sealing the nightly recovery from daily intoxications. The rest is…   
Daer Adoptear, the rest is the reality of the shamefully simple truth, whose blatantly disarming obviousness one is trying to verify conjuring all sorts of complexities imaginable to a human kidney. Out of such lousy attempts, such as the abovewritten account of one’s daily rootiness, is borne an escalating confusion of an impressive spreading capability. Yet the unavoidable fact to be faced by anyone worthy of his/her sugar is the first cosmic truth born out of paradox: Everything starts with the second year in one’s life. And sees the beginning of its fully fledged realization a year later with the release of one’s sense of poetic vision. In hope that your empathic capacities exceed the limitations of the emotion imprisoned  in the repressively oppressive consequences of verbal expression, I am, nonetheless, addressing you with the plea to hear one’s testimony of living in the age of the world economic power-charts being topped by the variables  of mutable identities, of the sky-rocketing sales of information smuggling, of the global economic elite-states losing zillions of their ploughpersons to suicide, of ideologies refigured to the level of comparison ad absurdum, of ethics equated with legality, the latter further identified with the new rave, of the market gris devising disguised assisted suicide techniques as part of the elevated, human-centered war on the red market, of tolerance, open-mindedness, and deabjecting politics being conditioned by closeness of the heart—irrationality of the highest order, the far cry…posterity… of the ancient master skill of sophist logic and rhetoric. In hope that your intellectual ability can transcend one’s hopelessly foggy verbalization of the train of thought per se bewildering enough, one offers this modestly crafted emulation of perceptions filtered through the sentimental, albeit not sentimentalist, grid of individually (despite the blasphemy of all the  implied, hypothesized, assumed, and presumed  repercussions, persecutions, and prosecutions), albeit not individualistically, created ideas of all the possible synonyms for the word privacy in the age of proliferation of lexical meaning and the emergence of the groundbreaking discovery turning into the cornerstone of the development of a three year old child’s poetic vision: the word privacy has been interchangeably used with the word secrecy--and/or vice versa—thus creating the basis for understanding and experiencing safety as hiding. In turn, one learns to appreciate individuality as an apex of identity in absentia. In such world beauty is being shifted from the realm of aesthetics to that of face lifting. The pen is, analogously, being replaced by a surgical knife. Kenosis is confused with liposuction. Oat fields with silicon valleys. Where the size of one’s love muscle corresponding to one’s tubularo-uteral dimensions attests to living in a degendered culture. In which chromosomic reconfiguration  is a matter of pixelated pigmentation as the ultimate proof of the victory of progress and the power of constructivism. In which the results of scientific research are subject to adjustments depending on the stage of one’s tenure-trial years or other conditioning factors within the upward academic mobility dynamics, the results of medical laboratory tests go under the umbrella title: Wassup! Where languages are being used in ways that betray their origin, i.e. supposed  means of communication, thus leading towards better understanding between and amongst humans. The culture from which this letter is being written is that of an anxiety-infested kingdom of the complex entertainment industry—the world of flashy white teeth displayed behind the uninterrupted smile, leaving little-tø-nø røøm for laughter. Because one fears the consequences of exposing the architectonic fragility to even a slightly-more-energetic-than-ye-average-pneumatic-kinetic.
For that reason, in solicitude ruminating about the destiny of one’s own house, one is sending this letter to the focus of one’s joyous anticipations. In hope that at least 20% of the scribblings will be met with reasonable empathy (although any percentage will alleviate one’s current dis-quiet) one continues virtually exploring the possibilities of advanced communication. In true aspiration of some response, I am closing these broodings with an admiration for the generous future act of yore--dapoltri.
iyoursz!

arc/hear




I frequently phantasmagorize of being a writer. On one of such occasions, I wrote a letter to my imaginary reader. The letter is of the approximately following content:
DaerRietdaer:
I sometimes phantasmogorize of conversing with thou. Such situational somnambulism is to me invaluable inspiration. What it is for thou I have no knowledge of. But one thing I do know. That thing is that I am dying to ask thou some questions. To them thou will give suitable answers that will be revealed to thou shortly. One of the themes that interests me as a topic of our communication is the milieu foYr ye sustainability of a good concept. With that thematic framework in mind, we will open ye conversation. Proceed we will as we please, i.e. as the dialogical flow leads us.
Youяsz Fatefully,
XX
Act One

Characters A&B are in the lounge of the hotel Waxing Loose. It’s late afternoon in June. Sunshine is playing with the surfaces of the objects present. Despite the number of guests in the hotel, it is quiet. Pleasant. The voice recorder is on. The voices are too.
A: Please define for me your understanding of reading in the age of deterministic inauthenticity.
B: All historicality is always already historicity. And so is history.
A: What, in your opinion, is more historical than temporary spaceship?
B: TemporiVM absentio est declenciossum mea faVoUrite.
A: If that is your way to emphasize a(n) historical connection between fructose and ferry, I think I can extrapolate the linguistic, i.e. etymological aspect from your proposition. That said, can we go on to consider possible interpretations of the word exhaustion.
B: Escape is a good concept if one is to speak about hierarchy, imposition, power-relations, and the phenomena of their ilk.
A: Let’s then imagine a writer’s mind during the performative act of creation.
B: To say that one cannot do this or that thing only means that such a capability existed in the past.
A: What is then your perception of the present?
B: A dark cloud of the future primordial defines authentic determinism as the antebellum anxiety overshadowed by postdiluvian crisis of affect.
A: Do you anticipate a decrease in a-XO-mie in the years following the class divided Globe?
B: To me--and everybody else, regardless of the extent of an individual’s awareness of the fact--  skin is as deep as genitals, unlike—and, indeed, despite the overwhelming popularity of—fiendship.
A: Do you hold it to be the ground for conceptualizing life as an anagram of “death”?
B: There is no such thing as bad vision. If one cannot see well, it is then spekky sight.



The characters are brooding in the invasive silence. Somewhere above their thoughts, an echo of their conversation is drifting below the ceiling: me got an obligation, given to me through the performative act of birth; it is called List—foYr—Live. It is partly a choice, partly  an imposition. That’s why it’s sometimes an ocean of happiness, at times a chasm of sadness. That’s why one chooses it—because one can only choose between whatever and nothingness.
[2nd AVgust, 20XX]
DaerReatdeir,
I found myself lost when I finally realized that it takes endless alternations of day and night to acknowledge that when I’d met you, I realized that the breath of my reader mind got irreversibly colored by the depth of your words.
You told me something. And I didn’t know it was you. Until I hear how your words reverberated. Then I told you who I was. Later, you said, Thanks. I didn’t know you’d said that. But I said, Thanks, nevertheless. Because nobody else could say that. Because nobody would hear.
Then you wrote…a book or something. I read it. Because there is nothing else I can read. Because nobody else can read it. Then I learned how to write while I was walking. Still know how to do it. Because there is no other way to, phunkie, read.
Youяsz Fatefully,
XX

Days Off Refforgotten Mind--Appendix F / 360 (a.k.a. Daplotri)

Wassup!
Let’s say NO to the concept of sign. How’s that for starters? Stories can be told in languages known to man. But to call one this or that, one must be able to imagine a tale told in the words not discovered yet. Between such words there is nothing. Thus, undiscovered words are pending names—both being involved in an alternating, at points bifurcating, act of signifying the fluctuating signified, thereby proliferating abundance of abstraction.
It’s just to say that partly as a choice, in part as an imposition, one gets accustomed to double-role playing. In the age of deterministic inauthenticity, it only means that riddle-laden resources of recurrent potentialities for situational somnambulism at certain points get exhausted. One then, instead of shifting towards the untrodden territories in search for raw materials, freezes in the emptiness of temporary spaceship. With the awareness of the impossibilities of the resources hitherto available, one understands that the word impossibility acquires a different meaning (risk taken for all the blasphemy extracted from this hate speech), emerging from such a resourceless context. In the upcoming reprint of On How To Phunkie WriteRead (øøøø), it (the newly acquired meaning, i.e.—despite its /the meaning’s, i.e., and, perhaps, by extension, the book’s, as well/ radical political incorrectness) will appear as a dictionary entry of the approximately following content:
impossibility (n.) – not that what is not possible, but what no more exists as a past resource of recurrence; what is to be sought in what has not occurred yet, but might one day become unrecognizable and, daerfoYr, unrecurrable;
impossibilize (v.) – to make not impossible but freed from the potential past repetitions and for freezing in order to see; partly an act of will, in part surrendering to the uncontestable circumstances imposed by Nature on one’s idea of measuring Time; to render shared / discoursizable / exposed among different subjects what has not occurred yet, but is seen through the lenses of the question:
Let’s imagine an answer that focuses on the aspect of the question discoursizing time. Specifically, to say that time is by nature namable is to define it as the potentiality for becoming the subject-matter of linguistic games known to man. It also means that linguistic games known to man are but series of discontinuous continuality consisting of  points between which there is nothing. Those nothingy gaps—houses of void-- are unrealizable recurrent potentialities, i.e. spots of recurrent possibilities repeated, had the resources not run sere. To say that time is by nature namable is to assume the character of time as a signified in constant becoming. Consequently, it is also to attribute to it the potential foYr being a signifier in the next cycle of signifying alternations.  Nature, in turn, becomes an implodable intersection of the time axes. The weakness manifested in fluctuation is, in fact, an actualization of (a) namability of both “nature” and “time” and (b) realizibility of exhausted impossibilities.

It’s to see double-role playing as germane to a waondering search for spekkie sight. To admit an inability to deny the arising angle, from which it is possible to see what cannot be. Recurrent potentialities acquire an identity of the vanishing point. Where melt the memories of the second reforgotten to itself to be a 1/60th of a minute that, in turn, is reforgetful  of its (own) being a 1/60th of an hour. A reforgotten reminiscence of the stormy night when one was conceived. On a lake. Or-f/ph-an by the performative act of birth. Ignorant by the performative birth of an act. Ignoble by  natural unmeasurability of time and spaceship between life and death at the moment of one’s coming to this or that world. By the absence of words to name such recklessness. Of such unforeseeability of what one day will become an unrecognizable, unrepeatable, immobilized potential. What will one day refuse to be a memory of the time ahead in the age of deterministic inauthenticity. Discovering life in racing nanoseconds. Blissful weakness. Of having the mind conquered by ye kitch’n’person. In understanding one’s (own) being to be forever lost in ye eye of the cyclone.



Days Off Refforgotten Mind—Apendix aT
Subject-Matter: Do you have the time?
RXrRXr: All historicity is always already signification of the sight spec/kie. To say that such vision requires a discontinuous continuity of spots of words between whom there is nothing is to be a grain of sand on a rocky beach…splinters on stones’ surfaces reflect sunshine, breaking ye spectrum into an overflow of an abstract rainbow…translucency of crystals…persistence of childhood memories in evaporation of waterless haze…spWriteReading.
Subject-Matter: Do you read-write while you are write-reading?
RXrRXr: All walking is always already nothing but the shade of mauve slurping a dollop of turquoise to drip down a washed away crimson background against the front of rich blue mixed with emerald-yellowish. Ye river of nocturnal beige rolling soft breezy kisses from a bank / through invisible branches / silent whispers of ye leaves.
Subject-Matter: Do you measure thy name?
RXrRXr: The precision of a linguistic expression is the power in its own right. To be out of seasons…a nest for ye rain’s afterhours…an ear for the smell of a(n) haphazard stroll…Through a meadow…alleys dividing divine bushes in ye rose garden…Dividing  ye smell from ye rest of the world…Eyes for the rest of the world…In hope for an odor-leakage. In.
Subject-Matter: Do you skin recurrable potentialities?
RXrRXr : Neither repetition. / Nor now / Rather all the posthumous prenativity sucked into the moment of a flashy buzz from the iris of another body’s eye / partly a warning / partly an invitation / The totality of its fragmentary inarticulateness / hypnotizing sedateness of ye purple hug / at the crack of dawn / and all the stories told in the language of the awkward / shy phrases / Tales reluctant to be told / emptied ecstacies / vapid gush of blood / lazy eyelids / cold nostrils /  Thinning skin / hurting naked tissue / pulsating / like ye heart of a dog ready for the red market everything-must-go-sale / To save a life of a dying stylist / who doesn’t know who a dog is / or ye heart / or ye stigmatized words / Censored emotions / Castrated limbs / _up_.

Subject-Matter: Does scientific objectivity exist independently of discourse?
RXrRXr: Unquestionably so. Because when a monkey changes into a donkey— there is no word that can prevent such transformation. One might argue that it has nothing to do with labeling it either scientific or objectivity, but that’s just human mind speaking desperately in the misery of its limited comprehension and * curvy pathways inside the skull being filled with luminous nectar * defrosted crystal * nectar flow * carving a microriverbed as it is gently pushing its way forward* fresh water caring seaweed * languid stream * cooling warmth of ye nastily obedient waves.
Subject-Matter: Does art belong in discourse?
RXrRXr : Irrefutably so. If it weren’t for discourse, many a nest-ms-tr-ess-me-DJ pieces would be lost. Wouldn’t have been created to start with. It is the sine-qua-non-ness of discourse that conditions the existence of art…creation arises from ye words not discovered yet * events not actualized yet * because there is no stuff from the past to be replicated * there is no vacuity empty enough to preclude the implosion in the intersection of time axes***cosmic/con/junction.
Subject-Matter: Does discourse inspire nature?
RXrRXr: Irrebuttably so. The impulse coming from the outside infuses into discourse unimaginable potentiality for conditioning all aspects of our culturally constructed good selves. More than in any other case it is embodied  in the abovesaid transphasmagorical monkey-donkey turn (or, at least, it is by far more clearly inarticulate in that than in any other phenomenon of a similar character)…monkey’s tongue has the shape of a fish / it penetrates donkey’s ear / disappears in the labyrinth of inner ear / becomes donkey’s liver-kidney highway 55 / pumps into donkey’s vocal cords excessive quantities of bile / to moisturize the throat  / through which the fish transfigured / into a pulsating larynx / is readies to be launched right to the center of ye heart of ye donkey*after it has swapped one’s existential identity with ye monkey.
Subject-Matter: Does philosophy make one think?
RXrRXr: Like fuck it does! think of it as a trigger to one’s cognitive apparatus that is expanding the more it is stimulated by contentio philosofico. Contemplatore—conjugated whatever—est one’s blюda neobiknovenaя, innit! Kon/es/h/xo…That said, think about the following utterance as the axiom of thinking (for circularity, you know what…): Habenzi-not-enough-whatno…to do / be done.

Walking along unknown streets*nordico-mediterranean architecture*seagulls flying over the sidewalks covered in snow*startling blue sky neverethelss*hidden passage…narrow alley…up the hill…thin buildings like shadows of the trees by the moonlight spilt over the sea…rising tall…disappearing in the  fog descending, embracing the fragile walls*climbing further…slow steps…heavy movements…up the hill…throbbing the foggy barricade…getting hit by the sight*a valley full of dogs, running, jumping, dangling sloppy ears, warm hair, funny pawns, short, deep breaths, sucking from the combustion chamber all the oxygen that can be created and consumed*all the oxygen imaginable to ye human kidney*never tired of playing*

June 26-7, VV
Feeling on one’s own skin the smell of the nest of the bird singing the symphony composed by a three year old child, HerDamend lets the long inhaled gaseous concoction glide down the respiratory labyrinth. Looking at the shadow of the tree as if it were colors on the canvas layered by a brush held by a hand of somebody whose voice was formed by an empty page after the inscriptions previously left for one to encounter were deleted through a meditation populated by the echoes of the soil airing molten metal.
Hearing one’s own thoughts in the form of a pen shyly approaching the cleared surface of the paper, HerDamend is trying to talk as if it were greetings exchanged between the valley tired after a long day of being part of the hallway to the grove and the thirstily awaited kiss of the sky, laying its crimson lips on the heat-drained hills. Recognizes one’s own reasoning in the awakening memories of the words from the letters buried in the background music of one’s mind:
[                           ]
Daer Countrymean,
I was born in the land of the folks whom I saw as kinship and strangers, comrades and an indifferent crowd, benevolent and hostile, neighbors and passers by, guardians of the cradle and scatter-brained wanderers, benign jokers and miserable parasites, generous givers and narrow-minded cripples, unconditioning providers and envious backbiters, warm advisers and unscrupulous upward-social-climbers, kings of laughter and emperors of solemnity, masters of the healing embrace and spiteful tormentors, torchbearers for the soul-saving wisdom and the experts in heart massacring, a fascinating source of uniqueness and blank back-stabbers, endlessly amusing and lame to the core, elated worshippers of life joy and embittered cynics of the lowest order, prototypically passionate and confusingly reserved.
I left that land to inhabit another one. Where a different language is spoken. That I understood to be part of listening to my inherent urge for the preservation of meaning: it is reasonable to accept a possibility to be misunderstood in an alien linguistic environment. There I met a person called HerDamend, who, without knowing it, taught me how to read-write. I learned that in order to write-read, one needs to learn how to accept life’s inevitabilities. A major one being: One must accept a possibility that one’s favorite reader is a painfully reluctant yo-bastardness. The other one being: One must accept a possibility that there will be extended periods of depravation of communicating with one’s best talker ever. And another: One must accept a possibility that one’s skin, no matter how strong the smell of a bird’s nest may be, will be temporarily transformed into a waiting room until the embrace of the claret sundown--a china-shop-accident-move of ye beloved nerd person, ehem—breaks the spell of the terrible summer. One more: One must accept a possibility that one’s passion is sentenced to a life of an engine fueling nothingness between us.
All the vanity aside, one engages in excelling in all the skills of acceptance. Defying one’s own egotistic demons, one assumes that life is full of inexplicably unavoidable certainties. It is one’s right to live that enables mastering accepting them. Mastering accepting the rights. The right. To live. To not to accept not to have the voice to listen V.
Yoursz

HerDamend





















[i] South Sea Port, NYC. Summer 2011.
[ii] Soho, NYC. Summer, 2011.
[iii] Renegades, Williamsburg, NYC. June, 2011.
[iv] Sugarland, Williamsburg, NYC, June 2011.
[v] After the bang, South Sea Port. NYC, Summer, 2011.
[vi] Sugar Hill. NYC, April, 2011.
[vii] London Wall. London, July, 2009.
[viii] Off Fifth Ave (a). NYC, Summer, 2011.
[ix] Off Fifth Ave (b). NYC, Summer, 2011.
[x] Funkie sky. NYC, Summer, 2011.
[xi] Do you have the time? NYC, Summer, 2011.
[xii] Directions. NYC, Summer, 2011.
[xiii] Psycho-rain. NYC, 20111.
[xiv] Bryant Park. NYC, Summer 2011.